My existential (synodal) crisis, part 1
Saturday, March 9, 2024 - Over the past few days, I have been really struggling.
Trying to put together a faithful recounting of the Synod, but wondering if it is truly worth it. This struggle led to what I now think was an intervention by the Holy Spirit. I’ll recount it here:
I met with a friend for lunch. We caught up on our families and our work. As usual, I got around to the Synod, sharing my questioning and my disappointment. My friend, who works at a local parish, acknowledged my feelings. Nothing was happening with the Synod at her parish either.
But . . . later that day she texted me that she had just received an email from the Archdiocese of Boston about an upcoming Synod meeting. Registration was required, but perhaps . . .
Was that you, Holy Spirit?
I went to the parish’s website and couldn’t find any mention of the meeting. This seemed all too typical - inadequate or missing information - and it only added to my discouragement. I went to sleep that night unsettled.
Sunday, March 10, 2024 - When I woke up Sunday morning, I had the thought that I could go to Mass at that parish. Was that you Holy Spirit? It wasn’t far from where I live.
At Mass, I continued to feel anguished about the Synod. Why was I finding it so difficult to participate in this important process on the future of the Church? And how could I become reconciled to the fact that I’d missed out on it?
I had the thought that I should speak with the Pastor after Mass. Was that you Holy Spirit? Could I attend this meeting even though I was not part of the parish and hadn’t attended any of the original gatherings? He wasn’t disturbed by those things, and told me how to register for the event. I left feeling, not exactly hopeful, but at least, acknowledged.
Monday, March 11, 2024 - In the days before the Synodal meeting, a few doubts began to creep in. I worried that I didn’t know anyone and wasn’t a part of the Parish. I worried that I hadn’t been involved in the initial diocesan synodal process. I had no experience, no understanding, no context to bring to the meeting. Nothing of value to offer.
I went to the Archdiocese of Boston’s website to look up the diocesan report to the United States Conference of Catholic Bishops (USCCB). There was no heading or subheading that I could find called “Synod on Synodality,” so I finally had to resort to the site search bar.
Really, Holy Spirit, does this have to be so difficult? Was this reflection process on the future of the Church so unworthy of notice? Such a non-event?
I finally found a listing on the “Synod on Synodality” - the last entry on the list, linking to the Archdiocese of Boston’s “Synod on Synodality” Synthesis, issued in November of 2022.
Eureka! Finally, I was going to be able to read a summary of the first phase of the Synod from my diocese!
Note: For my NH readers, the situation turned out to be both better and worse. The Diocese of Manchester had an actual Synod on Synodality link on its website, which was better than the Archdiocese of Boston. In reading the Diocese of Manchester Synodal Synthesis report, I learned that only about 100 people, “assembled” by two deacons and their wives, participated in the meetings. Further, the report stated that “Every effort was made to avoid gatherings that would evolve into gripe sessions. Those that were gripe sessions do not appear in this report.”
Really, Holy Spirit?!? Hardly and open and honest listening process.
Back to the Boston report. I settled in to do my homework before attending the meeting.
P.S.: Here are the two questions that parish synod participants were asked to deliberate on:
Witnessing to Joys and Concerns, Wounds and Gifts - As we journey together to announce the Gospel, what in the life of the Church gives you joy? What difficulties and obstacles do you encounter? What wounds are brought to light? What gifts?
Becoming a Listening, Discerning, Church - How can we do a better job of listening to one another and to the Holy Spirit? What steps does the Spirit invite us to take to grow in our journey together?
To be continued next time.